


Smoke on a Tightrope

by EMMegs



Series: Fated 'verse [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But alternate reality deaths, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Crash PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith is angry at the multiverse, Keith will fucking fight the mulitverse okay?, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Less so bad at feelings moreso bad at reacting to them, M/M, Multiverse Theory, POV Keith (Voltron), accidents in transreality travel, klance, klangst, post s3 hell, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EMMegs/pseuds/EMMegs
Summary: It was a complete accident. Slav was constantly talking about the chances of what their alternate selves were doing. They weren’t supposed to be able to actually see or feel any of it. It was just possibilities. Just maybes. What ifs.“Trust me, Lance. I’d always find you. In any universe.” And he does. Somehow or another he always does.Or... Lance and Keith catch glimpses of themselves in other realities. Thanks horrific trans-reality accident.





	1. Hole in the Canvas

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO AGAIN. I AM IN HELL. 
> 
> This isn't an excuse to cram a bunch of Klance AUs into one story, what?? I don't understand what you're talking about?? It's also totally not an excuse to use the "fated lovers" trope. Nope. Uhhh... Please enjoy my pain. I wrote the entire first chapter at 2am last night because I have lost control of my life. There will probably be three chaps total?? Four max. All titled after different songs on the playlist I made for writing this fic ( if anyone is curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ardc3nrQMxw&list=PLPoZFoep6ahanJeoJMxZ8fBqfhNhj3Y3r ) 
> 
> Story title from Grammatology by Adjy. Chapter title from Look On Up by Relient K.
> 
> I suggest if you have a trigger about character deaths or grievous violence you watch out toward the last two italicized parts that start "Keith's sword comes up without his body commanding him to do it" and "His hands are clawed around a blaster" The unitalicized parts should be fine but just be careful. I don't want to send anyone into a wild panic attack even if most of it happens in realities alternate to theirs. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a complete accident. Slav was constantly talking about the chances of what their alternate selves were doing. They weren’t supposed to be able to actually _see_ or _feel_ any of it. It was just possibilities. Just maybes. _What ifs_.

_“Keith, watch out!” Lance screams._

His insides feel like they’re trying to phase through his skin and his vision is just white.

_“Shit!” Pidge yells, “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. NOT GOOD.”_

He just barely can see the outline of Lance beside him, writhing in his own pain.

_“The trans-reality ability of the Black Lion seems to be unstable—“_

_“NO SHIT, SLAV.”_

His mind just keeps bouncing around. He sees everything and nothing. Everything in the multiverse and nothing but Lance. Lance, Lance, _Lance_.

He doesn’t know how they got here. He doesn’t know how to make it stop.

He shoots back out of awareness into what can only be another dream, another nightmare.

 

_Lance’s grin is easy as he throws his arm over his shoulders. “Did you study for our astronomy test this afternoon?” he asks. Keith rolls his eyes and keeps walking._

_“Why? Did you not?”_

_Lance shrugs. “Can’t study for perfection, honestly. I got this. I own the stars.”_

_Keith scoffs under his breath but his words are more fond than anything else, “Put your grade where your mouth is, Lance.”_

_“Oh I will. I will wipe the_ floor _with you, Mullet. You won’t know what hit you.”_

_“I’ll believe it when I see it.”_

_They round the corner and Lance picks up his pace just quickly enough to enter the room before him. He turns around to stick his tongue out but Keith just rolls his eyes again._

 

He jerks back to his reality and can’t breathe. “Keith,” someone above him is saying, “Keith just try to focus on where you are _now_.”

“Shiro, that’s not going to work.”

His lips part and Lance’s name is halfway out when he’s gone again.

 

_“Base Alpha Square, I’m picking up a transmission from an unknown nearby vessel,” he says, frown on his lips._

_“Is it Galran, Keith?”_

_“I’m not sure. It’s too garbled to decode.”_

_“Go ahead and move in closer. But careful, pilot.”_

_“Yessir.” Keith grips the controls of the ship and leans them down slowly, pressing the ship forward easily. He tunes the radio a little with one hand while trying to get a closer look at the ship nearby that’s broadcasting._

_‘—Mr. Lonelyyyyyyy.’ The broadcaster sings and Keith nearly jerks his craft into the asteroid he’s flying near._

_He scowls and radios in to the base, “It’s not Galran. They’re singing an old Earth song. A really obnoxious one.”_

_He hears someone snort, probably Matt. “Doesn’t that mean they’re probably human?” Shiro says and Keith pauses._

_“I mean,” Matt butts in, “The Galra could have taken up old Earth music while they were destroying the place.”_

_Keith tunes back into the broadcast. ‘I’m so looooon—‘_

_‘Lance cut it out! You’re going to draw attention to us!’_

_‘Who the fuck is around to hear, Pidgeon?’_

_Keith can’t believe these people. They’re obviously not Galra but they must be fucking morons. Or at least the first guy must be. He sighs though. “Should I hail them?” he asks Shiro and Matt. The broadcast sounds like the two are trying to wrestle the comms unit from each other._

_“Couldn’t hurt,” Matt answers, “Especially if they are human. We all know we’re a pretty rare species.”_

_Keith doesn’t wait for Shiro’s input. He just keys in the hailing sequence and speaks into his broadcast unit. “Attention unknown vessel. Are you in need of assistance?” He pauses and then he can’t help himself, “Or are you just trying to attract the goddamn Galra to these coordinates with your obnoxious Earth tunes?”_

_There’s silence for a solid 15 seconds and then the girl’s voice says incredulously, ‘I_ told _you, Lance!’_

_‘How the fuck was I supposed to know there was someone out here? It’s literally the middle of nowhere. If we were on Earth it’d be the middle of a desert.’_

_Keith sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do you need help or not?”_

_‘Yes,’ a third voice joins them, ‘our engine blew two days ago and it’s now becoming apparent to me that I can’t do anything about it with the parts we have.’_

_“Copy, I have your vessel in sight and am coming in now.”_

_Keith pilots in close and uses a small set of docking pinchers to connect his ship to the smaller one. It’s definitely not a Galra ship. The paint is practically burnt off and it’s way too old-tech to be anything in the realm of Galran. It doesn’t take long for someone to knock on the doors to the cockpit and Keith commands them open. A tall tan boy tumbles through seconds later. Keith raises an eyebrow at him while Lance just stares and blinks._

_“Woah I know we thought you might be human too but that is still a shocker.”_

_“Part-human,” Keith corrects and Lance’s eyebrows shoot up. “What faction are you part of?”_

_“Lance don’t say anything!” the third voice calls from behind, “This ship is_ way _more high tech than ours! We don’t know who they might—Oh hi.” The guy comes to a stop and stares at him._

_“What faction are_ you _a part of?” Lance demands._

_Keith grins and says, “The Blade of Marmora.” Hunk backs up rapidly until his back hits the doorframe behind him. Keith rolls his eyes. It’s always the reaction he gets for being part human in the Blade. “Look I’m trying to get you back to your people. So what faction are you?”_

_Lance laughs and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah see. About that. Our old faction kinda got corrupted from within we think. So uhh…”_

_Keith feels the blood draining from his face. “No.”_

_“We would absolutely love to join the Blade?”_

_His radio picks that second to chatter, “Keith, have you gotten their purpose for being out there yet?” Keith glares at Lance and Hunk and then at the radio before picking it up to confirm._

Keith’s entire body is shuddering as his eyes roll open. Everything’s too bright. He turns his head to the side and notices just vaguely that he’s been moved to the medbay of the castle. Lance lays opposite to him and his eyes are staring back, a glaze over their surface. He clenches a hand and feels the mind bungee cord yank him back.

 

_“Keith!” Lance’s voice calls and seconds later their paladin armor clacks together as his body rams into Keith’s. Keith’s arms immediately raise to reciprocate the embrace, his fingers digging into the back of his suit. His face buries in Lance’s shoulder and Lance’s nose pushes into his hair. “You’re alive,” Lance mumbles, squeezing him tight. Then he pulls back and takes his face in his hands. “Thank God. You’re alive.”_

_Lance’s lips meet his and Keith smiles just slightly underneath them. “I told you back at the Garrison didn’t I?” Keith says softly when they pull away. “Very little can hurt me when I’m trying to get back to you.”_

Keith feels the vomit in his throat, choking him, seconds before someone frantically flips him over so it hits the ground instead of suffocating him. He feels a hand rubbing his back in circles and can only assume it’s Shiro. His chest clenches as his back arches involuntarily in a spasm. He catches a flash of orange out the corner of his eye as Coran leans over Lance, fingers on the pulse point in his neck and Keith nearly chokes.

 

_“We’ve known each other how long and you’re still ragging on me about my damn hair?” Keith says, shooting an unamused look at the lanky boy next to him._

_“It’s not my fault you’ve been picking all the worst hairstyles since kindergarten,” Lance defends himself with a cheeky grin as they walk past a building with a sign pronouncing it a library. “I mean seriously, buddy. You kept your bowl-cut until we were like 13.”_

_“My mom insisted!”_

_“Sure. You didn’t really fight her though did you?”_

_“You wouldn’t fight your mother about a stupid haircut if she was dying of cancer either,” Keith mutters then regrets it as the smile falls from Lance’s face and his own small ball of unresolved grief settles in his stomach._

_Lance is quiet, facing forward. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—“_

_“It’s fine, Lance,” Keith says it softly as though that will upset his stomach the least. He catches Lance look at him with a concerned frown for a split second before his hand slips into his and squeezes. “She’s gone. It’s gotta stop hurting at some point and just become fact right?”_

_Lance’s small smile isn’t anything but completely empathetic. He doesn’t let go._

Keith can’t breathe. He knows it’s just a trick of the illusions but he can’t draw in air. His hands blindly scrabble at his throat like that will get him to breathe, force these ideas, these lives, out of his mind and back into their proper places. Someone straps a mask to his face and Keith just blearily realizes it’s oxygen pouring through it before he remembers that Lance’s heart wasn’t beating the last time he’d glimpsed him.

He takes a gasping breath, rasps, “Lance,” and rips his head to the side. Lance’s eyes are still glazed but his chest is heaving with uneven breaths.

One of their other team members is screaming something but Keith can’t hear or see anything really but Lance.

But could he ever?

 

_Hot hands run along his chest and stomach, down his hips. Warm lips trace a burning path along his jaw and down his neck, stopping occasionally to linger long enough to leave small bruises. He fists his hands in the back of the other’s shirt and presses up closer to him, a moan pulling from his throat._

_His partner hums against his skin, then lifts his head to look at him. “Babe, we’re married,” Lance says as though he’s just realizing it. “Like that is a thing we did.” One of Keith’s hands strays up to tangle in the hair at the back of Lance’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him messily and insistently. Lance complies, which is what Keith wanted, of course. Seconds later though he pulls back and says, “Seriously though. We got married, Keith. That’s big right? Like isn’t that supposed to be a life-changing event?”_

_“Lance!” Keith groans, the hand still on Lance’s back yanking him close as he throws one leg up and flips their positions. He tangles their fingers together as he pins his husband and crushes their lips together._

_“Isn’t it though, babe?” Lance asks as Keith is mouthing at his neck._

_Keith feels his eyes roll so far back in his head he’s surprised they come back. “Yes, Lance. But it’s less so life-changing than it is illogical considering the fact that I’m in love with an_ idiot _.”_

_Lance smiles dopily. “Aw, babe. You love me?”_

_Keith rolls his eyes again and dives down to kiss him again._

“Lance,” Keith’s gabbing as he comes back to awareness, “Lance. Lance. _Lance_.”

Across from him he just barely hears Lance whimper, “Keith.”

Then he snaps away.

 

_Keith’s sword comes up without him commanding his body to do it. Lance crouches there across from him and the Altean he stands in front of. “Keith,” Lance breathes, straightening just a little. His jaw clenches just barely. “You did this to him, Kalen,” Lance spits then._

_“He’s part of the Galra scourge isn’t he? We had no choice. He was dangerous and violent.” ‘Kalen’ says. “My grandmother would be proud that we’ve managed to turn—“_

_“Your grandmother was a dictator,” Lance yells, interrupting. “Keith didn’t do anything! He grew up on Earth. He’s_ human _too!” Lance darts cyclically and pulls a gun to shoot at Kalen but Kalen produces a shield that blocks all his shots._

_“Empress Allura did what she did to save the universe! The Galra would not have had mercy.”_

_“Yes. She saved your people but then she didn’t_ stop _.”_

_“Her technology has saved many species that would have died off by now.”_

_“I wouldn’t call sapping the will from anyone who disagrees with you ‘saving’,” Lance says as he fires a shot that hits Kalen in the shoulder. Keith glances at Kalen, his expression still stony, and she nods. His muscles_ burn _as he tries not to move forward, sword slashing at Lance._

_“Even without his violent will, your lover still has his skill,” Kalen comments offhandedly as she turns for the door to the shuttle._

_Lance’s lip curls as he blocks Keith’s attack with his rifle and aims another shot at her back. He jumps out of the way as Keith swings at him again and Keith wants to say something but his words are locked behind the chip at the base of his neck. Keith’s next swing cuts into Lance’s arm and he cries out a little._

_Keith’s heart hurts. “Keith,” Lance says softly as he jumps away yet again. “Keith babe. Listen to me. I love you. That won’t ever change.” Keith feels tears in his eyes and blinks. Lance has distanced himself but he’s still talking in that low voice. “I love you and I’m going to take down every stupid Altean bastard that did this to you.” Keith runs toward him and Lance raises his rifle. “But I’d rather see you dead than as their puppet and I know you would too.”_

_The shot hits him in the middle of the chest and Keith’s knees drop to the ground, his sword clattering out of reach. The tears fall over his cheeks and Lance drops to his knees in front of him. His hands shake as they come up to cradle Keith’s face and he’s crying too. His beautiful face is twisted up as he sobs. Keith’s body tips forward into his arms and Lance holds onto him as he starts to slip away._

Keith hears Lance sobbing as his body convulses off the bed. His own vision is still black and his breath is hitching. “Make… stop,” Lance whimpers. Shiro’s hands press Keith down gently as his body spasms out of his control. Someone else—Allura maybe?—is at his feet. His hands clench and unclench.

“Coran!” Hunk yells from where he’s rubbing Lance’s back. “Where’s the sedative?!”

Keith’s spasms begin to fall further apart until he’s just shaking everywhere.

 

_His hands are clawed around a blaster and the Garrison looms before him. He narrows his sights in on a figure in orange and fires off three shots. Only one makes its mark. Only one has to. He grins triumphantly and continues his march forward._

_A bullet grazes past his ear and Keith’s lip curls at the slight sting. He turns toward the source and finds a lanky brunette in the same orange uniforms as everyone else. His eyes widen as he realizes he’s drawn his enemy’s attention and backs up rapidly. Keith holsters his blaster roughly and draws the sword strapped across his back instead. He did always prefer it._

_The cadet keeps shooting and missing even as he backs away from the advancing Galra. He yelps as he blocks Keith’s first strike with his rifle and it cleaves it almost in two. He tosses it away and back pedals straight into a wall._

_Keith looms over him but he meets blue eyes and stalls. His victim’s lips part. “I,”_ Lance _starts softly. “I know you.” He seems so_ sure _but also so confused. Keith almost lowers his weapon but then he shakes himself out of it._

_“Victory or death,” he snarls, driving his blade down into Lance’s chest._

Lance is _screaming_ and Keith’s sobs can’t be contained. He’s choking on the sobs wracking his chest and his throat and there’s ice crawling through his veins and into his head. He killed Lance. “No,” he gasps, “No. Not me. I didn’t. NO.”

Lance still screams but it’s more muffled and Keith thinks he’s going deaf. The ice is clogging his ears. Something pricks his arm as Lance’s screams die down to intermittent cries. His eyes are wide and unglazed as he stares back at Keith this time and Keith feels fierce stabbing guilt straight in his gut.

“That’s it boys,” Coran’s voice soothes over him. “It’s alright… Just relax. Let it go.” Keith keeps his eyes on Lance until his vision blacks out entirely.


	2. Our Sorrow Has the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there a way to return to normal??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Tragedy is Not the End by Joel Ansett
> 
> Full fic playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ardc3nrQMxw&list=PLPoZFoep6ahanJeoJMxZ8fBqfhNhj3Y3r

Keith feels like he’s falling and jolts to wakefulness gasping for breath. For several seconds he can’t place where he is or what happened. Then he remembers his sword plunging into Lance’s chest, a bullet in his chest, Lance’s lips, his hands, his voice, his _everything_ ; every second of every alternate memory rushes to the surface of his mind and steals his breath away.

“Keith?”

He jumps as Shiro stirs beside his bed and then he feels his face screw up and his shaking hands come up to cover it. Shiro’s hands run along his back and Keith just lets out a heart-wrenching sob and buries his head in Shiro’s shoulder. He wishes he could drown himself in Shiro’s shoulder just so he wouldn’t have to face the reality of what he’s done.

“I killed him,” Keith cries, voice muffled in the fabric of Shiro’s shirt. “I took one look at him and I killed him.”

Shiro’s flesh hand weaves into his hair and cradles the back of his head, his chin coming to rest on top of his head. “No you didn’t.”

“I did. I plunged my sword into his chest. I _killed Lance_ , Shiro.”

“Lance is fine. Shook up. But he’s fine. That wasn’t you Keith.”

Keith shoves away from his brother and yells, “It was a version of _me_! It was as _me_ as it’s going to get!”

Shiro looks at him and there’s something almost pitying in his gaze. “But it wasn’t _you_. Everything you saw was _a_ reality, Keith. But it wasn’t _our_ reality.” Keith stares at Shiro, his face still pulled up as though he’s about to sob. Everything Shiro says makes sense. But the guilt still coils in his gut.

“That could have been _me_ ,” Keith whispers.

Shiro shakes his head. “No it couldn’t. Because then you wouldn’t be you. You’re not a monster Keith. And what your alternate self does in another universe doesn’t make _you_ a monster. It makes _him_ one.”

“But how can you separate the two? We’re essentially the same person.”

“Because he’s not here. _You_ are. That Keith grew up differently; he _is_ different. He has your name and your face but not your past or your motives.” He pauses and puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Besides I think the day that you willingly physically harm Lance is the day that we must cross realities completely because you’ve had a crush on him longer than I’ve known you, I think.”

“Shut up,” Keith grumbles, then takes a deep breath to calm himself. His hands are still shaking. “Where is he?”

Shiro glances away from him toward the clock and Keith can’t tell if it’s to avoid his eyes or not. “His room, I think. Maybe sleeping. Maybe not.” Keith moves immediately for the door but Shiro catches his arm and shakes his head just a little.

“Why?” Keith breathes out and he feels tears pressing in his eyes again. “Why can’t I go to him?”

Shiro takes a deep breath then says, slowly, and firmly, “He needs space, Keith. He needs to be able to process.”

“But he’s going to need to talk about it. That _is_ how he processes.”

“Keith—“

“Shiro, I have to see him.” His chest aches and he curls his hands over his ears as though he can still hear him screaming. “He’s my right hand. I-I have to…”

“You have to give him time,” Shiro soothes. “You have to give _yourself_ time. That was a strenuous ordeal for both of you, physically and mentally. You need to rest. And when you’ve both had time to process on your own _then_ you can talk to each other about it. However you need to, okay?”

Keith lets out a breath and he knows he isn’t going to win this fight so he concedes, laying down on his bed grumpily.

 

When he wakes next it’s with Lance’s name on his lips. He stares at his ceiling and breathes in deep for a moment then turns and rolls out of bed. He pads to the kitchen without really processing where he’s going until he’s standing in the dining room doorway looking at his whole team eating breakfast as though it’s just an ordinary day. As if his world hasn’t been shredded up around him because of a stupid _accident_.

There’s a lump in his throat as he meets Lance’s eyes from across the room just very briefly before the other boy looks away, down at his plate. “I-I’m full,” Lance says abruptly, standing and fleeing from the room.

Keith feels a twinge in his chest and his hand reaches after him for a split second before he realizes what it’s doing and curls it into a fist at his side. The others are watching him and Keith frowns before striding to his normal seat, trying to ignore the pang that runs through him as he glances at Lance’s vacated seat next to him.

“How you feeling, Keith?” Pidge asks him, her voice soft as though she’s talking to a spooked animal.

He swallows and answers, “Fine.”

“I’m glad that the sedative Coran found managed to jerk you both out of that horrid episode,” Allura murmurs, her eyebrows turned down in concern. “But if you’re feeling any after-affects from either it or the accident please don’t hesitant to let us know, okay?” Her hand just barely brushes his shoulder and he nods.

 _Do they know?_ He thinks as he glances around at their faces. Hunk seems to be the only one not directly watching him and Keith narrows his eyes a little. He feels that odd pulling sensation behind his temples and shuts his eyes to ward it off. No more. It’s done. He’s done.

Hunk sets a small plate down in front of him right as he stands again. “You know, I’m not actually that hungry right now. I’m gonna… go do something else.”

He makes it halfway back to his room before he stumbles into a wall and slides down, mouth open as his mind pops elsewhere.

_He strides through the crowd of orange-clothed bodies, listening vaguely to a commanding officer praising him when his eyes catch on the boy—Lance—laying among them and his breath hitches._

Keith shakes his head violently and grits his teeth. No. Nope. He stares resolutely down the hallway where he was headed before and… and if he’s still experiencing these flashes then Lance must be too right?

He pushes himself to his feet and stumbles down the hall even while being assaulted still.

_“Hah! I told you I’d ace it! Take that Keith!” Lance crows victoriously as shoves his test at Keith, the 98 score circled in blue ink at the top._

_Keith rolls his eyes and simply shows him his own 99._

He sucks in a breath and he has to find Lance. He _has_ to find him before he loses himself in these non-realities.

_“How the fuck was I supposed to know your teammate and mine were siblings?” Keith says as he scowls at the accusatory boy in front of him._

_“I don’t know but it’s_ mighty fucking suspicious _that you find other live humans and don’t check to make sure any of them are family!” Lance says._

_Keith rolls his eyes. “Suspicious my ass.”_

_“The first thing I’d check is if my family was among them!”_

_“Yeah well maybe I never had family on Earth to worry about.”_

He trips over his own feet and hits the ground with a small ‘oof.’ “Lance,” he calls down the hall to their bedrooms, voice wrecked and not even sure if he’s fully in his body anymore. “ _Lance_!”

“Keith?” Lance’s voice calls back and he rounds the corner, looking just as desperate.

_Lance eyes him from across their study table, his pen held to his lips in thought. “Hey, Keith.” Keith hums noncommittally to say he’s listening. “Have you ever thought about the multiverse more personally?” Keith cocks an eyebrow in his direction, eyes just briefly glancing at him before turning back to his textbook. “I mean like… what might our alternate selves be doing? Do you think we’re friends?”_

_Keith shrugs. “It doesn’t matter does it? It’s just a theory.”_

Keith gasps as he grips onto Lance’s arm now that he’s much, much closer. Lance’s hands are shaking where they grip his shirt and Keith can’t get a good enough look at him, but he knows, he just _knows_ , that Lance is seeing the same things. Lance is being mind-yanked across the universes too.

_“What would you do if we’d never met?” Lance muses, curling around Keith from behind and propping his head against his. Keith snorts and rolls toward him a little, minimizing the space between them even further. “No, really. What would you be doing?”_

_“Looking for you, probably.”_

_“How can you look for someone if you don’t even know them?”_

_Keith turns his head back so he can stare at the man he’s married when he says, “Trust me, Lance. I’d always find you. In any universe.”_

“I would,” Keith gasps at Lance as he comes back to himself. “I _would_ find you.”

He feels the pull of Lance’s fingers tightening on his shirt when Lance whispers back, “I did.”

_“You know, Keith,” Lance mumbles against his neck as they gaze out at the stars. “I think you might be the love of my life.”_

It’s the last one and Keith knows it because his head doesn’t feel like elastic anymore. It feels like he’s snapped back into place. In his arms, Lance gasps and slumps a little, arms winding tight around his waist. Keith closes his eyes and draws in several sharp breaths. He tries to get his breath under control, tries to do something other than shudder with pent up sobs.

It isn’t as painful as the last time but he still grips Lance’s shaking form tightly and mumbles into his hair, “It’s over. It’s okay. It’s over. We’re okay.”

The image of Lance laying among other cadets with a haunting sword wound breaking the orange of his uniform flits through his mind and a choked noise pops from his mouth, his body shuddering violently. Lance’s grip tightens incrementally then releases entirely and Keith lets go of him as he backs away from him, hands coming up to his face.

“Lance,” Keith says softly, reaching for him.

But Lance shakes his head and croaks, “No, Keith.” His shoulders shake and a small sob falls from his lips and then he’s disappearing down the hall, leaving Keith on the floor with his own thoughts racing.

 

“The statistical probability of them even _surviving_ that crash was small enough as it is,” Slav is saying, arms flying wildly above his head. Keith glances toward Lance and his tightly curled fist in his lap before turning his attention back to the argument Coran, Shiro, and Slav seem to be having. “The chances of them suffering zero after-affects is less than 0.05 percent.”

“Is that in _this_ universe?” Shiro hisses, frustration bleeding through. Slav has been using too many probabilities lately for his tastes.

“That is taking into account _every other possibility_ ,” Slav says. Shiro groans out loud and Coran pinches the bridge of his nose.

“We’ll run some scans then,” Coran amends finally.

“Yes,” Allura interjects from where she’s piloting the castle. “We’ll do whatever we can to lessen how this affects Keith and Lance.”

“But what if we can’t form Voltron?” Keith turns his eyes to Lance as he speaks up and there’s an angry muscle popping near his jaw as he speaks through gritted teeth. “What if,” Lance continues, “We do everything we can but these glimpses and…” Lance sucks in a sharp breath at the same time Keith flinches. _Lance grins at him from over the breakfast table in their apartment._ “Memories,“ Lance gasps out then swallows, “make us unable to pilot our lions, to form Voltron. We can’t possibly fly like this.”

Keith bends his head forward into his hands, his trembling fingers rubbing at his temple. _A report in front of him in Galran. A photo of the carnage with Lance’s body at the front._

Lance’s breath hitches slightly as he keeps going, “And, I mean, Keith’s last run with the Black Lion didn’t exactly end well for either of us.”

Keith grimaces, his hands running down his face till he can look at Lance over his fingers. And Lance is looking directly at him, his expression not accusatory at all but… torn? Pained?

“What are you wanting from us, Lance?” Allura asks, turning her head to glance back at them. “The universe cannot go without Voltron. We are his pilots.”

“I can’t,” Keith says suddenly and stands, his hands shaking at his sides. “I can’t pilot the Black Lion again. I… I can’t.”

“Did you ask her that, Keith?” Coran says gently.

Keith turns to him and he can’t even snap at Coran because he’s nothing but sympathetic. Keith stares at him, then looks around at Shiro, Slav, and Lance. His eyes meet Lance’s and Keith feels that same pang as Lance’s throat bobs with a swallow before he looks away.

“I just can’t,” Keith mutters, hands curling slightly at his sides. He can’t stomach flying the Black Lion. Can’t think of stepping in her cockpit without tying his insides in knots. Can’t curl his hands around a set of controls without crashing through a transreality portal where he’s holding a sword, a blaster, a hand, a face, a pencil, _everything else_. He swallows hard and finds his fisted hands shaking next to his thighs.

Coran lets out a long sigh, his eyes on Keith’s hands before drifting to his face, and says, “I understand. We’ll suspend Voltron’s activities as long as we can.”

Shiro frowns a little and opens his mouth as though to object but one look from Coran silences him. Keith nods Coran once then brushes past them all without looking back.

 

Keith is only standing in front of the Black Lion at Coran’s insistence. The Altean is standing behind him, a quiet support, as Keith gazes up at her. Coran places a gentle hand against his back and murmurs, “Your fears are valid, Keith. But you must not let them control you. I will not force you to fly the Black Lion, but I will ask you to ease yourself back into the idea of it.”

Keith looks back at Coran and feels a choking lump in his throat. “How?” he asks, voice choked. “How do you just… keep going?”

Coran shrugs. “Because others need me functioning more than my trauma needs me to thrive.” He pauses, fingers twirling his mustache in thought. “You know, it may aid you and Lance to talk about your shared experience with each other. After all you both crashed and you both were mind-boggled cross-universes.”

Keith swallows, mouth dry at the idea, then says lowly, “Lance doesn’t want to.” And it takes all his energy not to add on _‘doesn’t want me.’_

Because if one thing is abundantly clear to him, it’s the fact that Lance wants nothing from him than his leadership and a metric fuckton of space.

“He’s been avoiding you, has he?” Coran speaks and Keith’s eyes stray back to his face from where they’d moved toward the Black Lion. Keith just nods. “Perhaps he’s still coming to terms with the things he has seen and done in other realities just like you are.”

Keith lets out a breath and runs a hand through his head. “Yeah. Or maybe he’s so horrified by the fact that I killed him in some reality that he can’t stand to be around me.”

Coran is shaking his head before Keith is even finished talking, a frown pulling at his lips. “I don’t think that’s quite what’s going through his head. Rather, I believe he doesn’t know _how_ to talk about it or even if you’d be receptive to it.”

Keith frowns. “Of course I would be…. Have you been talking to him too?”

Coran makes a loud, “Ehhhh,” noise and winks at him.


	3. Tunnel Vision Haunts You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith works on overcoming his leftover PTSD from the crash and promptly comes to the decision that he has to fix this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Wake Up by EDEN. 
> 
> Full fic playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ardc3nrQMxw&list=PLPoZFoep6ahanJeoJMxZ8fBqfhNhj3Y3r
> 
> Warning for some pretty intense flashbacks on Keith's part in the second scene. Look out if that kind of thing bothers you. Also I don't science so don't ask me how this all works. 
> 
> Last chapter should be up sometime tomorrow when I've had some space to edit it. It's mostly finished already.

It takes him two weeks to make it up the gangplank and into Black’s waiting mouth but once he’s there he finds he can’t move further in. Not because he doesn’t want to. The universe needs Voltron. _This_ universe needs Voltron. No, he’s stopped because his throat has seen fit to twist up and clog his windpipe. Because he can see into another reality right then, a vicious attack.

_Lance walking ahead of him, donning his armor and the biggest grin he’s ever seen, the black bayard in his hand and the bright twinkle in his eyes._

_“You ready, babe?” Lance asks. He feels his lips curl at the corners and nods. “Let’s see what this baby can do, shall we?”_

He’d thought it many times. That he didn’t know why the Black Lion had chosen him instead of Lance. And apparently in another reality, she had chosen him. Keith slumps against a wall, suddenly drained of all desire to go anywhere or do anything besides sit here. He feels a gentle, confident purr in his mind and feels nothing but frustration.

“Why did you let that happen?” he asks the Lion, gazing up at the ceiling of her walkway. “Why did you let Lance and I…”

_“Lance you’re being ridiculous,” Keith mutters, blindfolded. He clasps the hand in his tightly._

_“Shush. How long have you known me?”_

_“Too long.”_

_“Excuse you!”_

_“20 years,” Keith concedes._

_Lance brings him to a halt and his hands raise to Keith’s blindfold. Keith first sees Lance in front of him then nothing but the stars up and all around them. Keith let’s out a breath. His eyes stray back to Lance, who hasn’t stopped looking at him. “Happy birthday,” Lance whispers._

_“Lance…” Keith lets out an astonished breath._

_“I… I brought you here because… I need to tell you. Keith, I lo—“_

Keith gasps out and he’s glaring at the walls surrounding him. “What do you want from me?” he growls.   
“All these worlds trapped in my head now and what does it matter?”

The Lion is silent, judging. Keith jumps up and sprints out of Black, refusing to look back even as she roars for his acceptance again.

 

Keith doesn’t say anything about his interaction with Black. He works his way through a team training that was Shiro’s idea, but he’s quiet the entire time. He gets kicked across the training room by the Gladiator and just lays there winded for several seconds.

_‘I… know you.’ Keith gasps awake in the purple tinged lighting of his bunk and stares at the ceiling. He was just a boy. A human. Why is he being haunted by a human? Why can’t he get his stare out of his head?_

“You okay?” Pidge’s voice floats down to him and Keith blinks up at her. She’s offering him a hand. Keith takes it and wobbles once he’s up.

“I’m fine,” he says to answer her concerned frown.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m fine, Pidge.”

Across the room Hunk is kneeling over Lance, whose blank-eyed stare is more than enough for Keith to feel guilt pool in his stomach.

“You don’t seem to be on top of your game. Either of you,” Allura comments from the middle of the room, a water pouch in her hand. Keith sees Lance shudder and glance toward him before turning his scowl to Allura.

“Do you want to try again?” Hunk asks uncertainly, looking between Lance and Keith, his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I’m done,” Keith says, shaking his head and sweeping out of the room before anyone can stop him.

He enters the Black Lion’s ramp and is halfway to the cockpit before he seizes up, pulling to a stop. His heart hammers and he feels like the walls are closing in, trying to crush him.

_It was a simple mission. They were testing the Black Lion’s capabilities with Keith at the helm and Lance had come along as moral support._

_“The Black Lion was created from an asteroid exactly like that one. So that stands to reason that the Black Lion must also possess some of the same abilities,” Pidge had reasoned._

_Slav had tutted a little. “The dangers of crossing realities are more likely to kill them than give any information.”_

_“But we might find a way to stop Lotor,” Keith had said. And that was the end of it. That was the entire decision made._

Keith draws in a deep breath as all the memories he hadn’t wanted to face come to the forefront. He makes sure to keep his breathing measured and he walks carefully toward the cockpit.

_“Keith,” Coran says, “According to our readings, there is a pinhole that the Black Lion may be able to sweep through ahead of you.”_

_Keith’s fingers tighten around his controls and he nods. Lance’s hand is warm on his shoulder as he flies straight at it._

_They didn’t count on it blowing open before they reached it. The warning alarms and lights start flashing split seconds before a vast white_ solid _space opens before them._

_“Keith, watch out!” Lance screams at his side and Keith yanks on the controls to swerve around the space. Black heads in sideways and Keith’s own breathing is the only thing he can hear as thousands of images flash before his viewscreen, bright and wide and vast, infinite. Keith swerves the Black Lion’s controls the opposite direction and Keith sees their reality skew halfway._

_He yanks the rest of the way and Lance’s cries reenter his perception as his right hand is thrown against a wall, smacking the back of his head against it. They hit something entirely solid and Keith’s thrown forward against his restraints._

Keith’s harsh breathing fills the cockpit. He stares out through the Black Lion’s viewscreen at the hangar below him but he feels as though he’s seeing something different.

_“Lance?” Keith calls behind him as soon as he comes to awareness. They appear to have crashed on one of the nearby planets. Lance groans from where he slouches against the wall behind Keith’s seat._

_“Shit,” Pidge yells through the comms and Keith’s eyes shoot toward his dash. “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. NOT GOOD.” Keith looks back at Lance and the entire world tilts sideways a bit, blurring and spinning before him. “Keith, Lance. If you hear me, the readings around the Black Lion are off the charts and you’re in the mid—“_

_Lance’s mouth gabs open, his eyes glazing over a little, and Keith’s legs drop from underneath him. His vision turns white and his hands scrabble for Lance, just to know he’s still there, still alive._

_Pain blossoms in his limbs, his chest, his heart, as his mind is pulled taunt and is snapped straight from his body._

Keith falls to his knees, gasping in the cockpit. The crash was his fault. The fact that Lance was also stuck in this hellscape of hallucinations and glimpses was his fault. He did this. It was his decision. Around him Black lets out a small grunt and Keith’s anger lashes up angrily. “You knew it was going to happen that way. There’s no way you couldn’t have.”

She huffs and Keith’s nose curls. _Possibilities_. It’s always _possibilities_ with everything to do with these shitty things. _Possibilities_ never facts. Fluid never concrete. He hates the multiverse. He _hates_ it. It can never just tell him one thing it has to present _everything_.

He turns on his heel right as Black brings her ramp up and essentially traps him in her. He feels his heart seize up but she just purrs.

“Black… Let me out,” he says and his voice cracks. She presses something toward him, like an idea but none of it is concrete; nothing is actually _ever_ exact. Keith frowns and tries to translate. “You can… fix it?” She purrs and Keith shakes his head, all the fears of what has _already_ happened because of the _possibilities_ crowding his head. “No. Let me out. _Now_.”

She lowers her ramp, though not without some reluctance and Keith sprints out of the hangar. He doesn’t even know where he’s running to. He doesn’t know what the point of running is after he gets out of the hangar, he’s just _going_.

Until he nearly rams into Hunk. “Woah. Buddy, slow down.” Hunk steadies him with two hands on his shoulders and Keith just looks at him. Hunk’s expression begins to morph into something concerned. “Are you okay, Keith? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Keith draws in a sharp breath and lets it out harshly. His lungs are clogged with the smoke of all the things he wants to say to _someone, anyone_. “Lance blames me, doesn’t he?” he ends up blurting.

Hunk’s eyes narrow just slightly as he frowns. “No? He’s kinda frustrated with the entire trans-reality glimpses thing, mostly because it makes him feel like nothing is real, but he doesn’t blame you for it at all.”

“How?” Keith asks incredulously.

Hunk shrugs. “Pilots crash. You’re only human.”

“But I—“ Keith stops and his hands clench into fists. _But I was the death of him._ He doesn’t say it but the unspoken accusation against himself hangs in the air.

“Keith. Dude. None of this is your fault. We know it. Lance knows it. Slav _told us_ the risk before we did it.”

“But _I_ made the choice, Hunk.”

“No. _We_ did. All of us agreed it was worth it.” Hunk lets out a soft breath and murmurs, “You gotta let go, man. You’re not the only one fighting this war.”

He pats Keith on the shoulder, tells him to get some rest, and keeps on his way.

_“My family was caught in the first wave of the invasion,” Lance says from where he sits with his knees pulled to his chest, eyes gazing out the window at the stars around them. “My mom tried to contact me to warn me to get somewhere safe and I haven’t heard from any of them since.”_

_“They’re probably dead,” Keith says, though he’s aware he’s probably being insensitive._

_“I know,” Lance snaps, a pained look crossing his face. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I keep hoping they’re out there somewhere still, my sisters all fighting the Galra head on and my parents striking fear in the hearts of armies.” He turns his head away from Keith, resting his cheek on his knees._

 

It feels like their hundredth round of scans, two months after the accident, when Keith is finally left alone with Lance long enough to say something. Coran's gone to check the computers and Keith and Lance are both sitting there waiting for him to return when Keith opens his mouth and says, “I’m sorry.”

Lance frowns and gazes straight at him as he says, “For what?”

“All of this.” He gestures around them. “I know it’s been hurting you worse than me.”

Lance’s frown deepens and then he murmurs, “Keith… Why do you think this is all your fault?”

He doesn’t get the chance to answer because Coran comes back. He’s scowling at his tablet and Keith’s immediately on guard. “Why do you look like you’re about to hand out some bad news?” Lance asks, eyes wide.

Coran’s frown deepens and he murmurs, “Lance, my boy… Your brain is showing odd signs of degradation.”

Keith coughs at the sudden news, throat tight, while Lance just kind of stares at Coran like a gaping fish.

“What about me?” Keith demands.

“For some reason, you’re completely fine, Keith. But Lance…”

“Lance is dying? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Well we’re all dying really—“

“Coran. Please. Be straight with us. Is he dying?” There’s ice creeping through his veins, smoky fear filling his lungs and he can’t even justify his harsh tone with Coran right now. Because his world is absolutely shattering. Worse than when this all started with that stupid accident. Worse than when he saw himself kill cadet Lance.

Coran looks between them then, expression sad and tears clouding his voice, he says, “That is what appears to be happening.”

Keith stares at him for a solid ten seconds in complete silence then looks at Lance, who offers him a small smile. Lance, who hasn’t seen his family in over a year. Lance, who is his rival. Lance, who is his friend. Lance, who is his right hand. Lance, who he _loves_. He’s dying.

And it’s because of this stupid accident.

Keith straightens, stands, and brushes past Coran, spitting, “Over my dead body.” He breaks into a run, ignoring Coran and Lance’s calls after him. He runs and this time instead of being aimless, he goes straight to Black. She opens up as soon as she senses him coming and Keith runs up the ramp and straight to her cockpit, ignoring the memories that assault him. He jumps into the pilot’s seat and starts her up. “You still got that solution?” Keith asks her and doesn’t wait for an answer, “Because we’re going to fucking fix this mess.”

Her growl is a warning this time but Keith doesn’t care and he sends that wave of feeling out to her. He doesn’t care what happens to him. He just cares that Lance gets to live. He just wants Lance to not be dying.

Black shoots out of her hangar and Keith almost feels like he’s piloting Red again at the speed that takes hold of him. Speed out of desperation. Speed out of need.

“Keith what are you doing?” Pidge’s voice comes through the comms and he hears Allura and Shiro murmuring in the background.

“If you were ready to pilot the Black Lion again—“

“I’m fixing this shithole,” Keith says shortly and then cuts off contact. He puts Black in autopilot and digs through some of the lockers in the back for the extra set of armor he knows is hanging around. When he takes hold of the controls again, Black sends him a simple concept. She’s found the correct spot to fly at and all he really has to do is graze it to re-immerse his mind in the multi-reality portal.

It’ll hurt, she warns. Immensely. But Keith closes his eyes and accepts it. “This will make him better too?” She hums—or at least comes as close as a lion can to humming—and Keith mutters, “It’ll have to be enough.”

“Keith?” It’s Lance’s voice directly in his helmet comms and Keith swallows. He sounds scared. He sounds scared for _him_. “Keith, please stop this. I don’t know what you’re trying to do exactly but you’re going to get yourself killed. Get back here and we can talk this out.”

He shakes his head. No. Not even Lance will convince him that this isn’t the right thing to do. He drives his lion straight toward the area she indicates and swerves at the last second to skirt just around the edge of the space that opens up to gladly swallow him.

The ice previously clogging his veins melts and he’s _burning._ Air moves through his lungs but it’s like none of it is made of oxygen. He breathes in and out but Keith’s left choking on the vacancy in his chest. And then the glimpses hit him.

_Lance flicking a paper football at him from three desks over and Keith scrunching up his nose at him._

_Lance’s fingers on him, his back arching at their touch. Lance’s breathy sighs echoing in his ears._

_Lance, the survivor, glancing at him through the commscreen before they launch out in rickety fighters toward who knows what. “Let’s show these assholes what Earth could have done to them.”_

_Lance doing a victory dance in front of him while singing, “Oh yeah. I beat Keith. I beat Keith. SUCK IT.”_

_Lance, laying on the floor of the training room next to him, chest heaving, but still smiling bright. His hand reaches over and twines with his._

_Lance’s face in his head as he guts his entire team of commanding officers and launches the cruiser he’s on into the nearest sun._

_Lance. Lance. Lance. Lance._ Lance. Over and over, everywhere he sees, all _times_ he sees.

“Oh,” he breathes as his vision of Black’s cockpit fades to white. Lance. It’s always Lance. In every universe, in every situation. Lance is the constant. Lance is always there. They _always_ find each other. Somehow they always come together.

He’s not sure when he started to feel it – the familiarity shaking in his bones, the thrumming in his blood. He doesn’t know when _familiar_ started, but perhaps it’s been there longer than both of them. Maybe he was born with this draw in his blood toward this other boy. Perhaps that’s the reason he can’t let him go.

He gets it now. Nothing is possibilities with Lance. Nothing has ever been _just_ possibilities. It’d been eventualities. In a multiverse of _maybe_ , Lance has always been a _yes_.

He realizes this at the same moment he realizes that he’s an _idiot_ and that he’s been flung through space at a dangerously high velocity. Sound rushes back into his ears and all he can hear is shouts through his comms of his frenzied team.

“KEITH!” Lance screams above it all, voice raw and fractured, just as the ground of a planet rushes up to meet him.


	4. Everywhere That Has Ever Existed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance finally have the Feelings Talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Fellow Feeling by Porter Robinson and that's also the song that originally inspired this fic. Hurraaaaaaaay. 
> 
> Full fic playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ardc3nrQMxw&list=PLPoZFoep6ahanJeoJMxZ8fBqfhNhj3Y3r

Keith wakes to the dropping sensation of falling out of a medpod. Shiro’s arms enclose around him and keep him from hitting the ground. Keith looks at him and first notices that he’s got his dad-look on.

“What were you thinking?” Shiro says in a low voice and Keith laments the fact that no one else is here to prevent this conversation from happening. Because Shiro has always been respectful of them. If he was going to scold, he’d do it while you were alone with no one to act as a buffer.

He swallows and looks away from him.

“Well?” Shiro demands. “Stealing the Black Lion and shooting toward some trans-reality death trap? Do you want to die? Is that what it’s about? You want to die so you figured you’d take Voltron with you?”

“No,” Keith croaks.

“Then, _what,_ Keith?”

“Lance,” Keith says. “Lance is what I was thinking.”

Shiro narrows his eyes at him and gives his head a confused little shake. “What? Are you so single-mindedly focused on a boy that you’d get yourself killed—“

“Yes. If it would save him.”

Shiro softens, just ever so slightly, and Keith knows that he’s gotten off the hook. With him at least. “Keith,” Shiro says and he sighs. “You almost broke him. He was halfway out to your position in the Red Lion when you crashed.”

Keith breathes in. “Well,” Keith says, “No one ever said that becoming the leader automatically gave me impulse control.”

“I’ll say,” says Lance’s voice from the doorway. His eyes are stony and his entire body is poised for a fight. Shiro gives Keith one last look and slinks out the door. A muscle in Lance’s jaw twitches as he strides forward and shoves him in the chest. “What the _fuck_ , Keith?”

“We need to talk,” Keith just says calmly.

“Damn right we do. You’re an impatient, impulsive, arrogant asshole, you know that?”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Keith finds his lips cracking up in a grin. “You… already knew that when you first met me.”

Lance splutters and it just proves Keith right. “That’s not the point, _Keith_.”

“Oh, you just needed to insult me to get it out of your system. Okay.”

“Stop that,” Lance hisses at him. And Keith can feel the fury coming off of him but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because across the multiverse, every Keith has only ever had eyes for Lance and this Keith is no different with this Lance. So he waits for Lance to tear into him. He welcomes it because it means that Lance is talking to him, Lance is working toward the same realization. “You—“ Lance’s voice breaks before he can continue. “You arrogant asshole. I hate you. You almost fucking died, you know that? Slav is fucking _mystified_ that you survived that damn stunt _twice_. I hate you. The Black Lion is wrecked and I hate you so—“ He lets out a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh and brings a hand to his mouth.

Keith counts it as a plus that this conversation isn’t triggering both of them to see who even knows what. He pulls in a breath and then says, “Are you okay?”

The sound that falls from Lance’s mouth this time is definitely a sob. “You almost die and ask _me_ if I’m okay.”

“Your brain,” Keith clarifies softly. “Are you okay?”

Lance stands there, fists clenched at his side and breathing in and out, then he shakes his head just once, “No.” And he has to grab Keith’s wrist to keep him from sprinting off to do something about it again. “ _But_ , Coran and Slav say that I’ll most likely make a full recovery. It'll just take some time for it to show on the scans, like it took a while for it to show up in the first place.” He gazes at Keith and takes in a deep breath. “I’ll be fine.”

Keith lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Then it was worth it.”

Lance’s expression hardens a little, the frown hidden beneath the surface coming to the forefront. “I’m not some damsel in distress that you needed to save. I would have handled it, Keith.”

“I wouldn’t have,” he says, direct and plain.

Lance breathes in then says icily, “Clearly. Considering you _flung yourself at a deadly trans-reality portal._ I mean, _shit_ Keith. I would have handled dying the same way I was handling those—“  

Keith makes sure that he looks Lance straight in the eye as he interrupts in a near bellow, “I _refuse_ to be the death of you again.”

Lance falls silent, his mouth still open and his breathe wheezing in. They hold eye contact like that as Keith continues, “I refuse, Lance. One universe where I find you only to kill you is enough.” Keith knows Lance understands what he’s talking about because his hand comes up to rest against the place where Galra Keith had stabbed cadet Lance.

“What about me, Keith?” Lance says after several moments where the only sound in the room is their harsh breathing. “Do you—“ He sucks in a breath and spits it out, “Do you think I want to watch you die again?” Keith swallows, his own hand raising to his chest where he knows a puppet Keith was shot by a rebel Lance to save him. Lance is looking at him with his eyes shining and Keith’s own eyes feel wet too.

He shuts his eyes and breathes in. “It was my mistake that got us into that. If you died because I crashed, because I _chose_ to fly at that thing…”

“Why is everything always your fault?” Lance yells at him. “Why does a decision we _all_ made fall entirely on your shoulders just because it got fucked up?”

“I’m the leader Lance! That’s what it means! I take the fall when things go to shit!”

“You don’t _have_ to!” Lance’s eyes are wide and his face is screwed up in fury as he spits his words at him. And somehow Keith still finds him vaguely beautiful. “That’s what being a team _means_! That’s why I’m _here_! To help you! To keep you from doing stupid shit! We’re meant to be a team, Keith! We’re meant to be partners but you keep pushing me away!”

Keith tears his gaze from him, turning in a circle and hands tugging at his hair. This is not the exactly conversation he wanted to have. He breathes in deep. Behind him Lance still stands there with his tears spilling over his cheeks and Keith can’t even say anything to refute him.

“We find each other,” Lance says, hoarse and absolutely wrecked. “Keith, we _always_ find each other. And every time—every. Fucking. Time—I end up halfway in love with you before I’ve even learned your name. But I can’t love you if you’re dead.” His voice breaks and Keith turns to him.

“You realized it too,” Keith murmurs.

Lance shrugs and nods. “It’s hard not to.”

Keith takes a deep breath and lets it out in a shuddering sigh. “It’s not just the ones we saw, you know. It’s all of them. Every single universe. I saw it when I went through the second time. Every time it’s just you. _You,_ Lance. I don’t know how or why but somehow you’re always there. You’re fated to be something to me.” Keith pauses and licks his lips. He’s never been poetic, never been one for words, but these ones have been boiling in him and as his lips part to let them out a weight lifts from his chest and something lighter takes residence there. “I love you.” He sounds like he’s been gutted but he doesn’t care anymore. “Lance, I love you.”

He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until Lance strides forward the remaining steps between them and wipes away the tears on his cheeks, his hands cradling his face as Keith repeats it over and over again. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I know,” Lance breathes as he presses their foreheads together. Keith closes his eyes and brings a hand up to grip Lance’s wrist, his other holding onto his waist. “I know, Keith. Somehow I’ve always known.”

They stand there and just breathe in tandem for what feels like hours. Lance’s thumb brushing over Keith’s cheek and Keith bumping their noses together.

He’s not sure who makes the move first but maybe it’s both of them that tilt their heads so their lips brush together. It’s soft and gentle but Keith feels it coil inside of him and spring back. They come apart but Keith grabs Lance by the collar and pulls him back in, feeling Lance’s lips curl into a smile against his. Lance’s fingers curl behind his ear, weaving into his hair and Keith presses in for more. Keith’s arms snake around his waist and tug him closer. Lance hums against his skin as he pulls away to burrow his face in Keith’s neck.

Keith presses a kiss to his forehead and lingers there, his eyes closed. Later, he will press reminders of his love into Lance’s skin. Later, when they’re less emotionally exhausted, Keith will wake up next to him and curl up behind him.

But now…

“I’m still mad at you,” Lance mumbles, one hand clenched in Keith’s shirt and the other resting against his hip.

“That’s fine,” Keith says. “You have the right to be. So long as you don’t _actually_ hate me.”

Lance just shakes his head, a sigh pulling from his lips. “Never could.”

He presses his lips to Lance’s again and a feeling of rightness settles within him. It feels like home, such a foreign concept to him before and he finally understands it. Lance is home. Lance has always been home. That’s why nowhere ever felt right to him before.

“Oh, yup. They uhhh…” Keith draws away when he hears Hunk at the door. “Well they’re definitely not killing each other.” Lance chuckles and turns his face back to Keith’s, nosing his jaw. The others follow Hunk in and Lance moves to Keith’s side despite the small whine that leaves Keith’s mouth at the loss of his warmth pressed against him.

Lance’s hand slides into his as naturally as Pidge codes.

Pidge bounds over and smacks Keith in the arm, a scowl. “Next time don’t be an idiot,” she says. “This guy,” she jerks her finger toward the man attached to his side, “isn’t the only person who’d be wrecked if something happened to you.”

Keith laughs a little. “Yeah. Love you too, Pidge,” he mutters as she scowls at him and punches his arm again for good measure. It’s followed quickly by a hug that Keith returns with the arm not attached to Lance’s.

“So uhh,” Hunk starts, “does this mean that everyone is fine?? Like you guys have sorted everything out and no one is gonna drop dead right?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Lance says. “No one’s dying. And Keith promises not to act so recklessly next time.” Keith raises an eyebrow at him as Lance turns a stony expression his way. “Right, _babe_?”

Keith feels a ridiculous amount of happy fuzzy feelings in his chest so he just nods. “I’ll try,” he murmurs.

“Glad to hear it,” Coran says, striding close enough to pat Keith on the shoulder.

“I do hope though that you’re prepared to assist in the Black Lion’s repairs,” Allura interjects.

“Yes,” Keith responds automatically. “Of course.”

“You also better be prepared to start team training again,” Shiro adds. “And forming Voltron again. It’s been long enough.”

Keith nods, already turning back towards Lance—always turning, always rotating back to him; It was foolish of him not to notice it sooner. “I could do for a nap,” Keith murmurs.

Pidge makes a face. “You two are like brothers to me so _please_ make sure your fucking nap is _just_ a nap.”

Lance makes a show of waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her as he leads Keith past their friends. When they reach their rooms, Lance just keeps pulling him, straight into his room. He tugs Keith in close and kisses him, smooth and warm and much more fulfilling than their previous ones. Lance’s hands end up on his waist, his thumb brushing circles in the fabric of his shirt. Keith’s fingers play with the hair at the base of Lance’s neck and grip the front of his shirt.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to separate from him now. And he’s okay with that.

“You don’t seem mad anymore,” Keith murmurs when Lance pauses in his kisses to sit them both on his bed. Lance huffs as he flops onto his bed on his back and scoots over enough that he can pull Keith comfortably down with him.

“I can be mad and still want to make out with you,” Lance states. Keith snorts and gets comfortable on his side facing Lance, tangling their legs together immediately and clasping one of their hands between them. “Go to sleep, Keith,” Lance breathes. His free hand reaches out and brushes the hair out of Keith’s eyes.

Keith nuzzles Lance’s hand and complies easily for once. As he drifts off, he hears Lance say in a choked voice, “God, I love you. So much.”

 

**A Month Later…**

“Keith!” Lance yells. Keith has approximately ten seconds before Lance plows into him and he spends all ten of them turning and bracing himself for impact. He catches Lance and the momentum sends them spinning a little. Lance breathes into his chest and Keith feels his hands shaking against his back. “I thought you promised me you wouldn’t do anything stupid anymore.”

Keith snorts. “One: I said I’d _try_. Two: Don’t you think it’s kind of going against my nature to not do _anything_ impulsive? Besides it seemed like a good idea at the time and we ended up blasting Lotor’s ship out of the sky soooo…”

“He makes a good point,” Pidge comments as she comes up to them and yanks her helmet off.

Lance scowls at her. “Traitor.” Keith merely rolls his eyes and easily lets his hand drop down into Lance’s, his lips pecking his cheek. Lance gives him the stink eye but grudgingly lets himself be led away from the hangar.

They head to the rec room once they’re cleaned up and their armor is off and Keith collapses on one of the couch. Lance instantly curls up against his side and Keith settles an arm around his shoulders. Pidge and Hunk trail in not long after and Allura, Shiro, and Coran are last. Keith takes the opportunity to press a kiss to Lance’s head while everyone else gets settled around them. Keith sees a camera flash and groans, burying his face in Lance’s neck while Lance chuckles.

“You’re so camera-shy babe,” he comments, squeezing him. “It’s cute.”

“I’m not cute,” Keith growls.

“Um. Hell yeah you are.” Keith looks up and Lance is smiling softly at him. He tries his best to keep scowling but to no avail. There’s another camera flash and Keith redirects his glare toward Coran.

“I need a group shot!” Coran announces, smiling broadly at Keith. Keith sighs and resigns himself to his fate as he straightens in his seat and faces Coran, one arm still around Lance’s shoulders. The others crowd around them and Coran prompts them to smile but Keith just ends up looking at Lance again, enthralled by his smile, when the camera goes off.

 

“Lance!” Keith cries, his back arching off the bed toward his lover. Breathing heavy, Lance leans his head down and kisses him before pressing their foreheads together. He stays there while both their heartrates begin to slow. Lance trails kisses along his jaw and Keith tilts his head back.

“Keith,” Lance murmurs against the skin of his neck, voice reverent.

“Lance,” Keith breathes back. They’re quiet for a long time, the breaths between them the only sound in the room. Then Keith softly asks, “What was your favorite universe to look at?”

“Your eyes,” Lance jokes in a mumble. Keith lets out a soft growl because he _knows_ Lance knows that isn’t what he meant. Lance hums and presses a gentle kiss to Keith’s neck, then he answers, “The one we were married in. Those two had so much sex. Holy shit.”

“Lance!”

“ _Seriously_ Keith! Practically every time we glimpsed in on them they were in the process or had just finished!”

Keith rolls his eyes and brings a hand up to run down his face. He’s in love with an idiot.

“Honestly though, they’ve really got the entire domestic bliss thing going and I’m kinda jealous. If only our lives were calm enough to get on their level.”

Keith smiles against Lance’s head and murmurs, “Pidge would say we’re already disgustingly domestic.”

“Yeah well Pidge can stick her nose elsewhere if she doesn’t want to watch how awfully in love I am with you.” Keith kisses the top of Lance’s head and strokes his thumb in circles on his shoulder. “What about yours?”

Keith hums in thought then carefully says, “The one where we were in college together. We’d known each other a long time too. Like 20 years or something.”

Lance sighs, apparently content with that answer and burrows his head further into Keith’s shoulder. It’s quiet again and Keith almost thinks Lance has fallen asleep when he asks, soft, “What are we?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ve never really defined our relationship… It just kinda fell into place.”

Keith lays there, head leaning against Lance’s, and thinks. “I don’t know if there’s a word….”

“Star-crossed lovers,” Lance suggests.

Keith snorts. “I’m not calling us that.”

“Why? Isn’t it kinda true?”

“Yes but...”

“What about love of my life? Or… Love of all my lives?”

Keith laughs and buries his nose in Lance’s hair.

“Help me out here, Keith!”

Keith gives his head a little shake, squeezing Lance tight to his side. “I don’t care what we call it as long as I have you,” he mumbles.

Lance hums. “Fated then,” he decides, tilting his head up so he can gaze at him. “You’re my Fated.”

Keith meets Lance’s eyes and lets out an astonished breath at just how much he loves this man. Then he presses his lips to Lance’s to show him just how on board with that idea he is.

“My Fated,” Keith confirms in a whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask my how the science works. I guess I figure that maybe the reason their minds were snapping around seeing all those things was because some part of them got trapped in the portal and the only way to fix it was to go back through. The reason Lance's brain was breaking down was because of the strain from his mind literally snapping into another universe randomly. Keith's was fine because he's half-alien so it works differently on him. 
> 
> This is it!! But I'm also really fond of this universe now that I've written an 11k fic on it in one weekend so who knows! Maybe there will be more! I was thinking of possibly doing a mirror fic from Lance's perspective since we don't really see a lot of his thoughts or feelings until he speaks them at the end but idk how I feel about that yet. I was also thinking of possibly doing mini-fics taking place in the other 'verses that they glimpse?? Does that sound intriguing or ehh?? 
> 
> Come scream about Voltron with me on tumblr!! emfreddie.tumblr.com


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